Recipe: Juevos Rancheros (well, not really).

Well, I'm back in the kitchen… And it's Sunday morning, and I'm feeling like a bastardized version of Juevos Rancheros. Please, no comments on how it's not authentic. I know it's not authentic… but it's tasty. If you'd like to suggest a different name, please do.

The usual suspects: Onion, garlic, dried chipotle (soaking in hot water).


Bacon. (BACON!)


Render that sucker.


That was quick.


Remove a lot of the grease for later. Leave a teaspoon or so, and toss in the onion. With heat on medium low, soften and brown with a pinch of salt.


Add this. Yes, this is just for demonstration purposes. Of COURSE I toast and grind my own!


Add garlic. Cook for about 30 seconds.


Add chipotle.


Bring on the beans!


Mash up most of the beans with a spoon. It will start getting thick. If too thick, add some chicken stock to loosen it up.


Can't forget the oregano…


Nor the Nam Pla.


Yes, yes. It slightly resembles dog food.


Return the bacon, stir, and let cook on low to let the flavors mingle as you prepare the eggs.


Bring a pot of water to a simmer, and add a tablespoon or so of white vinegar.


Crack eggs into a small bowl.


Gently introduce the eggs to the water, allow to poach for 3 minutes (if you like a runny yolk. If you don't… why are you still reading this?).


Remove with a slotted spoon to a bowl, and drain off excess water.


I hope you've already washed and chopped your cilantro, because we're ready to plate.


Bean mixture on plate, grated cheese on top (what? You haven't grated the cheese yet?).


Eggs on top of that, and top with cilantro. Salt, and extra hot sauce to taste.